Her feelings, My worries
by Tuliharja
Summary: AU. A not so well-known fact is revealed, something which is enough to bring out certain emotions amongst a select few people. One-shot. R&R!


Title: _Her feelings, My worries_

Summary:_ AU. A not so well-known fact is revealed, something which is enough to bring out certain emotions amongst a select few people. One-shot._

Disclaimer: _BLEACH belong to Tite Kubo. I'm merely writing fan fiction about the fandom, though I do own my own OCs._

Author's note: _I wrote this fic for myself for my birthday._

_Thank you Gammatron942 and Ukrainian Snowstorm for betaing this._

* * *

**~*Her feelings, My worries*~**

"Thank you, Unohana-taichou." I gave Unohana a small bow as she handed me the small bag which held my medicine. I'd run out of it over the course of the year, mainly since I take my allergy medicine (even during the winter time) despite there commonly being no need. Yet because the Soul Society rarely gets a 'real winter', there is always something blooming that I'm allergic to.

Waving her hand in dismissal, Unohana gives me her usual kind smile. "It's alright, Ukitake-taichou. How is your husband doing?"

I could feel a slight heat spilling into my cheeks. I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm married to Soul Society's most charming man. If not the most charming, then at least to someone who is admired by many.

"Jūshirō is doing fine, thank you for asking Unohana-taichou! He hasn't been sick for… umm… well, I can't really remember!" I tell her cheerfully, laughter filling my voice.

Nodding her head, Unohana closes her eyes briefly. "That's excellent to hear. It appears both Kotetsu-san and your efforts have truly paid off." she stated in a satisfied tone.

I eye Unohana in a puzzled manner, silently asking what she meant by that.

"Isane's sister, Kiyone-kun, was placed in the Thirteenth Division by Yamamoto-san himself when he was soutaichou… well, perhaps it was more like a suggestion. But in the end, it led to Kiyone-kun's placement in the 13th Division instead of the Fourth Division." Unohana explained. My eyes widen slightly from the information.

"Is…Is Kiyone-san that good at kaidō?" I ask surprised, seeing Unohana nod her head.

"Yes, she was top of her class back in the Academy." the raven-haired woman tells me, looking me in the eyes. "Yamamoto-san thought it would be best to place someone with such high skills in the Thirteenth Division near Ukitake-taichou due to his health. Back then, his health was even worse than when you first met him. I had to make what felt like weekly visits to the Ugendō because his health was so poor. But ever since Kiyone-kun started at the Thirteenth Division, his health has improved. Of course, now that his lungs have been replaced with healthy ones, he has been all but cured. He has always been sickly, so it's a good thing Kiyone-kun is still there. Don't you agree?"

I can't help but feel numb as I nod my head, forming something that can pass as a smile on my lips. "A-ah…it's. It…is indeed," I stutter to Unohana. I heard Isane call for Unohana, making her bid me farewell as she leaves to attend some other medical issue. I'm left alone with my thoughts about this new information. For some reason, it makes my heart feel a bit heavy.

I can't quite describe this feeling as I quickly shunpo to Ninth. Upon my arrival, I place the medicine in my closet before taking my place behind a sleek desk. Papers litter the top, drafts of the Seireitei's Monthly Magazine's articles and photos. Grabbing the first page off the top of the pile, I get back to my work, although I somehow manage to read the same sentence about twenty times without it making sense to me. It was at that moment that Shūhei poked his head into my office.

"Taichou, I'm going to lunch now. Did you want to come with me or are you going with Ukitake-taichou?" he asks, startling me a bit as my thoughts were a bit hazy. Slowly, I place the paper back down on the table, noticing I hadn't really done anything as I nod my head to Shūhei.

"Ah, sure, why not?" I agree with a shrug as I get up to join Shūhei. At this point, he had paused inside the office. "It seems like nothing is coming from my work, so it's probably best to take a small break before trying once again."

Tilting his head in a concerned manner, Shūhei follows after me as I exit my office.

"Taichou, are you alright?" he asks in a concerned tone as I stop briefly, only to shake my head.

"W-well…ugh…" I shake my head once again. It's obvious Shūhei has seen right through me. If anyone can see right through me, it's Shūhei. My trusty fukutaichou who has become extremely important to me. Of course, that's not including my husband, Toshiro and a few others.

"I'll explain to you once we get something to eat, okay?" I reassure him as we head toward the place where we usually go to eat, a place located near the Eleventh Division. It's actually a pub that works as diner during the day. The food in there is just delicious, so it has become a popular place for people to gather there and eat or drink during the evening. Because of its location, it's especially popular amongst the Eleventh Division members. We spot Ikkaku, Yumichika and their wife Olivia almost immediately after entering the pub. The duo got married a few years ago to Olivia Ravensmith who happened to visit Seireitei while being on some sort of business trip. Olivia had been completely lost, because back then she barely could read Japanese. Compared to back then, she has made huge leaps when it comes to reading and understanding Japanese, though her accent is still visible when she speaks. She still hasn't managed to wrap her head around Japanese honorific's though.

The trio were sitting in their usual corner, close to the entrance of the pub. It is rumoured to be Zaraki Kenpachi's favourite spot. After my brief time at Eleventh, I know that the rumour is in fact true. I would sometimes join the guys when they would go to the pub. I wouldn't ever drink, but the company and general feeling would always cheer me up since the Eleventh is like a big family: everybody knows everybody, and everybody is important. It always filled me with warmth when I would go out with my fellow Division members.

Waving my hand, I approach the trio happily before taking a seat next to Yumichika. Shūhei decides to sit next to Ikkaku - as far from Yumichika as possible, since he still seems a bit scared of the beautiful man. When I had asked him about it, he would never tell me the reason why. My hunch says it's because of Yumichika's Zanpakutō's abilities. Also, I had heard that back in the day they ended up fighting against each other and ever since then… Shūhei has stayed away from Yumichika.

"Good evening you two." Olivia greets us happily as she is sandwiched between her two husbands. Her attention then focuses on me fully. "What brings you here Mrs. Ukitake? You usually eat with your husband these days."

"Yeah. You should come and meet your old Division members more often! Or are you too good for us nowadays?" Ikkaku questions me. I respond by kicking his leg underneath the table. "Oi! What was that for?"

"Now, now Ikkaku-san, Ukitake-taichou has just been busy." Shūhei says quickly, preventing things from escalating into a fight.

Sticking out my tongue out at Ikkaku, I give him a face when Yumichika sighs slightly at this.

"You two still act like children. How unsightly." he remarks with a flip of his hair, making both me and Ikkaku give him glare and a huff.

"And you're still a narcissist." I point out to Yumichika before carrying on, "If that isn't unsightly, I don't know what is."

Looking at me in a horrified manner, Yumichika seems to turn into a stone before crumbling in his seat, prompting Ikkaku to laugh loudly.

"There, there…" Olivia says, slowly piecing Yumichika together as I turn toward her.

"I don't know why, but I'm here now." I give an answer to her earlier question as Ikkaku stops laughing, giving me hard look. "W-what?"

"Hmm, I don't know. It could be just me, but you don't seem as chirpy as you usually do." he points out as the others nod at this. Puffing my cheeks, I let out a deep sigh. I lean against the table as a waiter brings us our menus. But since we have all visited the pub so often, we already know the menu by heart (or by stomach in my case as I'm a picky eater).

"Taichou…" Shūhei whines in an adorable manner, obviously wanting me to talk.

Lifting my gaze from the menu, I see each person's face who had gathered around the table, before looking back down.

"Today I visited Unohana-taichou, because my allergy medicine was running low and…well…" I shrug briefly, obviously hesitant to tell. Yet just as Yumichika (who has now been fixed by Olivia) is about to open his mouth to say something, the pub's door suddenly gets slammed open and Rangiku steps inside, along with Nanao, Nemu, Momo, and Kiyone.

Eyes widening, I quickly lift the menu to hide my face. I don't really feel like talking to any of the women who just walked in.

"Aaah! I'm exhausted!" I hear Rangiku whining as she walked further inside.

"Rangiku-san, you've barely done any work." Nanao points out sharply, making Rangiku whine further as Momo tries to stop them before their conversation escalates into an argument.

"Waah! How cruel Nanao! I try my best at wo-…Shūhei!" The strawberry-blond woman suddenly squeals as she rushes up to my lieutenant and sits next to him.

"I almost didn't see you! How have you been?" she asks in a rapid manner while pressing her huge breasts against Shūhei, who by now has turned into a pile of goo. I huff at this as Shūhei has always been like wax in Rangiku's hands, mostly due to her big bosom. The urge to kick him is strong, yet I hold myself back as Nemu walks up to them just to squeeze herself between the two. If I didn't know better, I would say the mostly emotionless Twelfth Division lieutenant has a crush upon Shūhei.

The others quickly come to our table, Nanao taking a seat next to Rangiku while Kiyone sits next to me and Momo next to Kiyone. I can't help but curse inside my mind at Rangiku as I'm not really feeling like seeing Kiyone at the moment. I don't want to hear her talk about Jūshirō.

"Hi Ukitake-taichou! Why aren't you eating with taichou?" Kiyone questions right away, making me place my menu down on the table.

"He is busy." I retort just as Shūhei is about to say something, earning a kick from me.

"What is it?" Nemu asks Shūhei, obviously noticing his small flinch.

"N-nothing." he stutters as I give Shūhei a look that basically says, 'shut up'.

"Eeeeh? But even if taichou is busy, I'm sure he would arrange time for you!" Kiyone carries on as I bite down my tongue. "I mean, my taichou is SOOO nice, dreamy and-and-… just amazing."

Small, angry anime fires appear in my eyes. Yet before I can say anything to Kiyone, Rangiku beats me to it by saying, "Kiyone! You sound like you have crush on Ukitake-taichou, despite his wife being right here!"

The co-third seat blinks her eyes several times before flushing. "E-E-eh?! I do? B-b-but…I mean…" Stuttering, Kiyone eyes me, then Rangiku, before frantically waving her hands.

"Well, I'm sure Ukitake-taichou won't mind about that. After all, she has nothing to worry about, since she IS married to Ukitake-taichou." Nanao points out with a push of her glasses. I give a menacing smile to this.

"Is that so? Fweeeh!" Kiyone sighs in relief as she suddenly hits my back happily, knocking all air from me as I all but crash down to the table. "I was really worried there for a minute!"

Placing my hands to the table I push myself back up, sending glare to Kiyone. "Yeah, no biggie." I state to Kiyone with a roll of my eyes. I can't keep my façade up as I just feel irritation at this point.

"Let's order, shall we?" Olivia suggests, giving a nudge to her husbands as it's obvious she is one of the few at the table who can see through my façade. Yet I don't care at this point. I feel like Kiyone is just asking for a bloody nose. Not in the literal sense mind you. I'm quite sure she couldn't stand even a minute in actual fight against me.

"Alright then. I'll have the soup!" Yumichika states with a flip of his hair.

"It has to be meat! Ugh, you and your stupid diet! No wonder you have hardly been a challenge lately. You'll turn into skin and bones," Ikkaku points out to Yumichika.

"Besides, meat will do wonders for your skin!" Rangiku chimes in, coming down on Ikkaku's side. "I mean, despite us aging slowly, we still do. We have to take proper care of ourselves!"

"But it'll make me fat! Lately, I've gained some fat in my butt…" Yumichika cries as he glances to his rear, making Olivia lean toward him.

"Well, fat or not, I still like you and your butt," she tells her husband while giving him a kiss on the cheek, making Ikkaku pull Olivia to his lap and demand a kiss too.

This makes everybody either giggle or 'aww' as the sight is just so cute.

"They really are cute, don't you agree?" Momo asks, making us others nods in agreeing manner.

"But not as cute as Ukitake-taichou and…Ukitake-taichou." Rangiku suddenly points out, making me blush deeply as she gives me a cheeky smile.

"Indeed! Taichou and Ukitake-taichou are the second cutest couple." Shūhei adds, making Rangiku nod her head.

"Yup, since both Taichou and I take the first place~!" she crows cheerfully, making Shūhei sweat drop. It's obvious he doesn't dare to correct Rangiku since it's in fact Byakuya and his new wife Tomoyo. The poll we did few weeks about 'who is Soul Society's cutest couple?' revealed that to both Shūhei and I.

I can't help but smile at this, my mood rising right away as I give my order to the waiter. Yet as I order, I can't help but notice Kiyone staring at me. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I decide not to say anything since we are all chatting happily until our foods arrive. Only then does Kiyone decide to open her mouth and almost ruin my appetite.

"My taichou has always been dreamy…it's kind of hard to believe he finally got married and to person like you…" she pipes out, making me look daggers at Kiyone.

"Excuse me?" I ask her as she quickly waves her hands front of herself in a frantic manner.

"S-sorry! I didn't mean it to sound like an insult!" she hurriedly amends.

"But it sounded like that." Nemu points out, making Kiyone shoot a look toward her.

"I think Kiyone-san meant that Ukitake-taichou was single for so long, it's kind of hard to believe he is now married, and to someone who isn't originally from Soul Society." Momo's voice is soft, seeking to make peace, but it doesn't help.

"Indeed. He had lot of suitors back then," Nanao agrees with a nod of her head, while Rangiku taps her chin.

"If I had to guess back then who Ukitake-taichou would have married, I would have guessed Kiyone…perhaps?" Rangiku ponders aloud. To say I feel betrayed is an understatement. And I would have guessed that Rangiku wouldn't have carried on with this topic, or at least wheeled it towards me. But I guess she, just like the others, are going merrily down memory lane.

"M-me?" Kiyone all but squeaks as she blushes deep red.

"Well yeah! You and Kotsubaki are always chasing and courting Ukitake-taichou everywhere. One would have guessed he would have picked you, since as far as I know he isn't gay. If that was the case, he would have more than likely picked Kotsubaki or Kyōraku-taichou…" Rangiku opines, earning a glare from Nanao.

"What did you say?" Nanao asks as I finally slam my hands down on the table, despite Olivia and Yumichika furiously beckoning everybody to be quiet about this.

"Even if Jū-chan would have been gay, which he isn't since he married ME, he still wouldn't have ever picked his personal creepy stalker to date – not to mention marry, since that's what Kiyone is!" I shout angrily, making everybody go quiet and settle down for a brief moment. In those moments, I realize I probably should have worded my words differently or not speak at all, but everything that had been said was just too much for me to handle. Especially considering the revelation I had earlier today.

'Well, too late now.' I think to myself hazily as the quiet disappears and chaos breaks loose. The next few hours seem to pass by in a blur. Before long, I'm once again at the Fourth Division, holding an ice-pack against my cheek. This time I'm not facing Unohana, but Toshiro who seems extremely disappointed at me and the rest of us who are crowding the hallway.

"I'm just glad you all got away with only a few bruises and scratches." he states calmly, yet I can see he eyes Rangiku with worry and disappointment. Both expressions are battling to be dominant on his face.

Eventually Toshiro turns towards me. "If you wanted a scoop, this must be 'golden material', right?" he chides me as I huff lightly. Sighing, he shakes his head and looks at Olivia.

"What exactly happened?" he asks, since by the time he and Soifon arrived with some of the other Onmitsukidō members, the fight had settled down. Mostly thanks to Olivia and Yumichika, with a little help from Ikkaku (because to be fair, he enjoyed watching us fight way too much).

"We were all enjoying our lunch, when Miss Kiyone brought up Captain Ukitake. After that the whole conversation shifted into a topic concerning who he would have started to date if he hadn't met his current wife. It kind of escalated after everybody agreed it would have been Miss Kiyone and…well…" Shaking her head Olivia glances at me, yet I look away in shame. I can literally feel my cheeks heat up as I try to avoid Toshiro's look.

After Yamamoto retired, Toshiro snatched Head Captain's place, much to everybody's surprise. Then again, what many people didn't consider was the fact both Jūshirō and Kyōraku were happy with their current situations and didn't have any need to change that. They both had been more than happy when Toshiro had decided to chase the Head Captain's position, and many captains agreed to the fact that it was a time for someone younger to lead them all.

But despite Toshiro looking as young as ever, he could be as stern as Yama-jii. It's obvious by now he had pieced together everything from Olivia's words. Thinking about the events in hindsight, it seems that I got way too worked up about Kiyone. Yet despite knowing this, I can't help but squeeze my hands into fists, freezing briefly as a familiar hand touches mine.

Lifting my eyes, I see Jūshirō crouched down in front of me, his eyes holding concern as he lifts his other hand to cup my face. I scrunch my features as I feel just awful at this point, wanting to just disappear. I know he won't be mad to me, but mostly disappointed. But even so…

"I'm-!"

"You should have told me about your worries." he cuts me right to the start with his smooth voice.

I shake my head as I squeeze my eyes shut and take a big gulp of air.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' echoes inside of my head as I timidly shake my head several times. I only open my eyes when I hear someone clearing their throat. I lift my eyes from Jūshirō to…

"Kiyone?!" I squeak in surprise as she is at our side, looking at us sheepishly.

"Ukitake-taichou and…Ukitake-taichou." Kiyone says quietly, looking nervously at us. It's obvious that she is scared of her captain's reaction. I don't understand why until I see Jūshirō's look turning stern. The usually kind, bubbly and warm Jūshirō is now looking hard toward his subordinate. It is a look that I haven't seen before, and quite frankly it surprises me. I know that he can be tough and commanding - he hasn't been a captain of the Gotei 13 for nothing, but this is something else.

Towards me his look is one of concern and warmth, but to Kiyone it's the exact opposite. This is the moment I realize Jūshirō isn't Kiyone's captain, but the man I married.

I feel like a frog got stuck in my throat, making my look soften as all my worries seem to melt away. Blinking my eyes several times, I have to tear my look away from Jūshirō and listen to Kiyone.

"I'm terribly sorry!" she apologizes loudly, kneeling front of us which makes me speechless. If anyone should apologize, it should be me! After all, I was the one who started the fight. Yet before I can say anything, Jūshirō is already front of Kiyone, giving her gentle tap to her head.

"Eh?" Kiyone mumbles, looking up to her captain as I lift my hand toward Jūshirō to ask him to just stop. But once again, he beats me to it before I can get a word out.

"Kotetsu-san, I'm disappointed in you. But mostly, I'm disappointed in myself for making my wife feel so insecure…and that's why, if anyone should be punished…" By now Jūshirō turned his look towards Toshiro who had been watching and listening to us keenly. "It should be me."

"Jū-chan, no!/Captain, no!" Both Kiyone and I cry in unison before we look at each other in shock, before turning our eyes sheepishly down.

"And get whole Gotei 13 against me? No thank you." Toshiro states flatly, which earns a hug from Olivia. This makes both Ikkaku and Yumichika growl lightly at the scene as she praises Toshiro for being so kind. I can't help but agree to this as well.

I turn now toward Jūshirō who is frowning slightly, unhappy about Toshiro's decision. Silently, I grab the corner of his sleeve and pull it slightly to gain his attention. I have many feelings inside of me at the moment, but the strongest one is my love for him.

"I'm sorry for doubting you." I breathe out. "I never should have. Because just a moment ago…what you did…said…if anyone should be punished for being a fool, it's me."

His look softens as he leans toward me, just to kiss me softly. His scent and warmth surrounds me fully, making the corners of my eyes a bit wet.

A clearing of a throat makes Jūshirō and I break apart as we turn to look at Unohana, who is observing us all. Her look is one of thoughtfulness as she glances between Kiyone, Jūshirō and I.

"Ukitake-taichou," she starts, making me straighten my posture right away as she looks at me. "Even though Yamamoto-san suggested Kiyone-san to the Thirteen Division, it had been out of concern which came from a different kind of love than you have. And because that different kind of love, Ukitake-san's condition stayed stabile all these years until it actually improved. Can you guess what sparked that improvement?"

I slowly turn to regard Jūshirō, before turning back to Unohana.

"Love." I breathe out as she nods her head in confirmation.

"Exactly. Now…anyone who can walk out of my Division…" Unohana starts slowly as that maniacal smile of hers appears. "…Out. NOW."

By the time she utters the word 'out', we were all running away, gasping as we probably set some kind of world record just now. As I gasp for air, I glance at Kiyone who gives me a sheepish smile. I straighten myself, before I walk up to her, just to take her gloved hands into mine.

"Thank you and I'm sorry." I both thank and apologize to her.

"Why?" she questions, her brows drawn in a puzzled moue, making me shake my head.

"For taking care of Jū-chan for so long." I answer simply as her look softens and I'm fully embraced by her. I can't help but tense a bit as, despite Jūshirō giving me hugs frequently, I'm still not that much of a hugging person.

"I'm so relieved to hear that, Ukitake-taichou!" she cries out as I pat her back gently, giving Jūshirō a look of 'save me!' Yet the little devil merely shrugs his shoulders and ignores my silent plea.

"Now that everything has been settled between us, can I have your autograph?"

"My what?" I ask perplexedly as Kiyone looks at me with starry eyes.

"Your autograph! With that I can brag to that stupid Sentarō that I got taichou's wife's autograph first! Hah! In his face!" she laughs in a slightly maniac manner as I feel a bit creeped out. I give Jūshirō a look of 'rescue me now!'

Clearing his throat, he taps Kiyone's shoulder, making her jump away from me and quickly bow to both of us.

"You can go now, Kotetsu-san," he tells her, making her bow several times, before giving us another starry look as she goes on her way.

I can't help but sweat drop as I look at Jūshirō.

"How have you survived all these centuries?" I simply ask him as he winks at me.

"You'll get used to it." he claims, taking my hand.

"I doubt it." I state flatly back to him as he gently turns me to him, just to kiss me once again on the lips.

"Just trust me." he whispers softly against my lips as I twist some of his hair into my fist.

"Convince me." I dare him as I can see devilish sparks appear in his eyes, before he flashes that exclusive handsome smile of his to me.

"Certainly."


End file.
